[personal profile] treppenwolf
There must be something wrong with me. I've been hesitant to write for the past few months, for reasons I can't fully understand. Basically, words and ideas strain to get out of my head - until the moment I take out a blank page. Fear. Nothing comes out. In a painful parody of Zeno's paradox, my fingers come ever closer to the keyboard, finally touch the keys - but cannot make that final push. But letter-writing, journal-writing, all these *other* nothing-activities are effortless. Facile.

Maybe I haven't come to fully accept the image of myself as a writer. On the internet, in this insulated, insular sub-genre fandom, I can hide behind a different persona, pretend to be a different character, *pretend* to be someone I believe, with full faith and confidence, I can be - until I exit that character. Then it's back to the daily routine, and I haven't been able to get even *that* settled enough that I can solve the issue of who I really am once and for all.
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Treppenwolf

May 2012

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